The time-travel western hybrid Timerider is reasonably well-acted, fairly good-looking, and appears to have had a decent-enough budget to keep it from coming off too cheap. So, why is it so terrible? It's because Timerider is so suffocatingly, mind-numbingly, kill-yourself-to-be-put-out-of-your-misery-level boring.
The whole screenplay of Timerider can be summed up into one sentence: motorcyclist is zapped back to the old west and tries to get back to the present (circa 1982). I haven't left out much. Fred Ward is this motorcyclist, and while riding his suped-up, time-travelling bike gets sent back to 1877. There he meets a group of decent cowboys (after they stop trying to shoot him for looking like some sort of alien), a bunch of bad cowboys led by villain Peter Coyote, and beautiful Belinda Bauer, who jumps into the sack with Ward almost immediately.
The first half of the movie has Coyote and his gang trying to steal the motorcycle, which they do, and then the second half has Ward and pals trying to get the motorcycle back. That's all. That's it. There are some would-be funny moments where Coyote tries, and fails, to ride the motorcycle, but these aren't at all funny. There are a few of the most awkward-looking gunfights in movie history where all of the cast members act as if they are trying to fire their phony weapons as far away from their bodies as humanly possible, which would send any bullets flying off at weird angles, if they were real that is. Eventually, the scientists for the future (or the present, or whatever) finally manage to send a helicopter into the past (!) to rescue Ward. Which it does, killing Coyote in the process. As the end credits start to roll there is a weird voiceover by Ward talking about a lucky necklace that he always wears that was passed down from some great-great grandmother or something, which Bauer had yanked from around his neck prior to his being whisked away. So...did he have sex with his own great-great grandmother? How does this kind of inbreeding affect the gene pool? If I wasn't trying to rouse myself from the coma I was lulled into, I may have spent some actual effort in thinking about these questions, but really, why bother?
Timerider feels as if it were directed in slow-motion. Nothing of interest happens on the screen at all. Nothing. It just grinds along lethargically, trying to gain a pulse, but failing. The only use it served would be as a warning to future filmmakers that trying to cross-pollenate a western with a completely different genre just doesn't work. This warning was not heeded, so we were also subjected to another lousy time-travel western, Back to the Future Part III, as well as the failed recent examples of Jonah Hex (western/paranormal thriller) and Cowboys and Aliens (western/sci-fi action flick). Why oh why didn't they listen?