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  • The Laughter Dies
    • An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1998)
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    • Harper Valley P.T.A. (1978)
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    • The Opposite Sex and How to Live With Them (1993)
    • Partners (1982)
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    • Private School (1983)
    • Screwballs (1983)
    • Spring Fever (1982)
    • Step Brothers (2008)
    • Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
    • The Swinger (1966)
    • That Old Feeling (1997)
    • Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012)
    • Wacko (1982)
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    • What Planet Are You From? (2000)
    • What's Your Number? (2011)
    • Where the Boys Are '84 (1984)
    • Yellowbeard (1983)
    • Your Highness (2011)
  • Thrill-Less
    • Abduction (2011)
    • Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996)
    • Airport (1970)
    • ATM (2012)
    • Avalanche (1978)
    • The Avengers (1998)
    • Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
    • Band of the Hand (1986)
    • Bear Island (1979)
    • Beneath the Darkness (2012)
    • Body of Evidence (1993)
    • Cardiac Arrest (1980)
    • Certain Fury (1985)
    • City on Fire (1979)
    • Cold Creek Manor (2003)
    • Cold Heaven (1992)
    • Color of Night (1994)
    • Crack in the World (1965)
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    • Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)
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    • I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
    • In Dreams (1999)
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    • Lisa (1990)
    • Love Crimes (1992)
    • Mad Dog Time (1996)
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    • The New Kids (1985)
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    • Superman Returns (2006)
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    • Taken (2009)
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    • 10,000 B.C. (2008)
    • This World, Then the Fireworks (1997)
    • Tough Guys Don't Dance (1987)
    • Trespass (2011)
    • Truth or Consequences, N.M. (1997)
    • Turbulence (1997)
    • The Vanishing (1993)
    • Vertical Limit (2000)
    • Visiting Hours (1982)
    • When Time Ran Out... (1980)
    • Whispers in the Dark (1992)
    • Windows (1980)
  • To the Shredder!
    • Angela's Ashes (1999)
    • At Play in the Fields of the Lord (1991)
    • Atlas Shrugged Part 1 (2011)
    • The Blue Lagoon (1980)
    • Blood and Chocolate (2007)
    • The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)
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    • Breakfast of Champions (1999)
    • Brenda Starr (1992)
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    • Everybody Wins (1990)
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    • Jonah Hex (2010)
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    • Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)
    • Miracle at St. Anna (2008)
    • Myra Breckinridge (1970)
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    • The Prince of Tides (1991)
    • Reflections in a Golden Eye (1967)
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    • Staircase (1969)
    • A Summer Place (1959)
    • Ten Little Indians (1989)
    • A Thousand Acres (1997)
    • Tropic of Cancer (1970)
    • Valley of the Dolls (1967)
  • Epic Fail
    • Alexander (2004)
    • American Anthem (1986)
    • Bolero (1984)
    • Branded (2012)
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    • Chastity (1969)
    • Conan the Barbarian (2011)
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    • Drum (1976)
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    • 54 (1998)
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    • Lady in the Water (2006)
    • The Legend of Lylah Clare (1968)
    • The Man Who Wasn't There (1983)
    • Mandingo (1975)
    • Moment by Moment (1978)
    • A Night in Heaven (1983)
    • One From the Heart (1982)
    • Over the Top (1987)
    • The Patriot (2000)
    • Perfect (1985)
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    • Rapa Nui (1994)
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    • Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991)
    • Revolution (1985)
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    • Skidoo (1968)
    • What Dreams May Come (1998)
    • Wild Orchid (1990)
    • Wilder Napalm (1993)
    • X, Y and Zee (1972)
  • Oh, the Horror...
    • An American Haunting (2006)
    • Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
    • Amityville 3-D (1983)
    • The Apparition (2012)
    • Army of Darkness (1993)
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    • Don't Go in the House (1980)
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    • The Evil (1978)
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    • Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
    • The Exorcist III (1990)
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    • Friday the 13th (1980)
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    • Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
    • Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
    • The Gates of Hell (1983)
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  • Sci-Fried
    • Alien: Resurrection (1997)
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    • Armageddon (1998)
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    • Split Second (1992)
    • Sssssss (1973)
    • Supernova (2000)
    • Timerider (1982)
    • Trog (1970)
    • Yor, the Hunter From the Future (1983)
  • A Little Pitchy
    • The Apple (1980)
    • At Long Last Love (1975)
    • Can't Stop the Music (1980)
    • From Justin to Kelly (2003)
    • Give My Regards to Broad Street (1984)
    • Glitter (2001)
    • Grease 2 (1982)
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    • Lost Horizon (1973)
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    • The Pirate Movie (1982)
    • The Producers (2005)
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    • Shock Treatment (1981)
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    • Song of Norway (1970)
    • Staying Alive (1983)
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    • Year of the Horse (1997)
    • Yes, Giorgio (1982)
  • This is Art?
    • Anatomy of Hell (2004)
    • Bamboozled (1999)
    • Being Human (1994)
    • Beyond and Back (1978)
    • The Dark Backward (1991)
    • Downloading Nancy (2009)
    • 8 1/2 Women (2000)
    • Film Socialisme (2011)
    • Futz (1969)
    • Gummo (1997)
    • Holy Smoke (1999)
    • Hugo Pool (1997)
    • I Melt With You (2011)
    • Inserts (1976)
    • Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)
    • The Moon in the Gutter (1983)
    • Passion in the Desert (1998)
    • Querelle (1982)
    • Rubber (2011)
    • Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
    • Siesta (1987)
    • The Singing Forest (2003)
    • Straight to Hell (1987)
    • Track 29 (1988)
    • Two Girls and a Guy (1998)
    • Zabriskie Point (1970)
  • Gut Check
    • Amin: The Rise and Fall (1981)
    • Andy Warhol's Bad (1977)
    • Angel (1984)
    • Anthropophagus (1980)
    • The Baby (1973)
    • Bitch Slap (2010)
    • Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)
    • Captivity (2007)
    • Chaos (2005)
    • Escape 2000 (1983)
    • Forbidden Zone (1982)
    • The Gore Gore Girls (1972)
    • Guyana: Cult of the Damned (1980)
    • Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)
    • House on the Edge of the Park (1980)
    • The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2010)
    • The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (2011)
    • I Spit On Your Grave (1978)
    • Jail Bait (1954)
    • The Love-Thrill Murders (1971)
    • Luther the Geek (1990)
    • Mother's Day (1980)
    • Otto; or, Up With Dead People (2008)
    • Reform School Girls (1986)
    • The Room (2003)
    • Strangeland (1998)
    • Survive! (1976)
    • The Tempter (1974)
    • Vegas in Space (1992)
    • Vice Squad (1982)
    • Vulgar (2002)

That Old Feeling (1997)

Picture

        A tired, TV sit-com level, romantic comedy starring a shrill Bette Midler and directed by a many, many years beyond his prime Carl Reiner?  God, no.  That Old Feeling is the kind of movie where you want to gnaw your own arm off just to have something to throw at the screen.

        Midler and Dennis Farina star as the middle-aged divorced parents of Paula Marshall, who, as the film begins, is getting married.  Cue up the un-witty, insulting banter!  Midler and Farina spend the entire ceremony taking cheap pot-shots at one another...until...inevitably....they find out they're still in love.  No sooner have they rekindled their romance then they disappear on a second honeymoon, much to the chagrin of their daughter, their new spouses and, well, just about everybody else.  You see, no one can believe these dolts have reconciled, and guess what?  We don't either.  The chemistry between the two stars is akin to romantic antimatter.

        Speaking of romantic antimatter, Paula Marshall hooks up with Danny Nucci, a tabloid journalist who's also tracking down Midler (she's playing a movie star, natch), and they do such uber-cute things like get themselves locked out on a hotel balcony.  In order to grab the attention of a cop just below, they joyously begin flinging down fruit (don't ask) while happy, rambunctious plays on the soundtrack.

        Oh well, will any of these morons find their true loves?  Do you doubt it?  That Old Feeling is mired in predictability to such a degree that anyone who has ever seen a movie before can figure out exactly what will happen, when it will happen, and how they are expected to respond.  Instead of moans of 'ah', it elicits groans of sheer agony.  Truly.  The movie creaks and wheezes very, very slowly towards its predetermined destination.  The acting by all is pretty dire; they obviously equate volume with humor.  Since nothing they have to say is funny, they simply crank it up to 11 and hope that no one will notice that nothing that is being said is of any importance to anyone.

        Needless to say, the only feeling That Old Feeling inspires is loathing.
 

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